He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
