Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
if only i could text you this smell
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
vagina is talking i cant
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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