Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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