I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
A bitchslap is in order.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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