Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
