You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
