Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
COCAINE IS GR8
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
