I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
