This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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