Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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