think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
