so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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