i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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