nut hugger
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
