I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My feet surprised me
Randomize
