I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
