Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
