Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
