You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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