Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
