But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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