you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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