i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
