Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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