after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
