Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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