I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
