I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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