You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
