So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
