Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
