Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
