How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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