Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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