you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you traded sex for a burrito?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
