the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
