I think scott just propositioned me for sex
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
