i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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