just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
