R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
