What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
