i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
