Ambien. No doubt about it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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