if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
