I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
