who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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