Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
