whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
