There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
