Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
