Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
