1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Vodka?
Forever.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A bitchslap is in order.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
